Giza aka Douglas Muth&#39;s LiveJournal

Hmm... it doesn't bother me at work as much because I'm paid to deal with people like that.

I just practice standard business CYA. For example, if I'm waiting on someone for something, I make sure my boss knows I'm waiting on them.

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Hey, wanna hang out sometime? :-)

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Cover your ass? ;) If so I got to remember that one.

I just posted through on the linked entry with my thoughts. Are there any solutions to developing angst free communities?

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Strong moderation and admonition/exclusion of people who fuck up.

These days, I don't do public meets. I prefer to hook up with friends and friends of friends. I'm much less likely to bump into undesirables that way.

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lionman.livejournal.com

Then the question is: Does one get paid enough to deal with people like that? ;-)

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swift-fox.livejournal.com

I've come to that understanding a couple years ago. There are many people in the fandom who, while I respect them and would long to spend a few minutes just getting to know them and vice versa, I realize that the path I have chosen and the group I have attached myself to will not allow that to transpire.

I've considered severing my ties, but I realize that it's important for me to stay where I am in order to promote what little stability I can. Yeah sounds egotistical and self important of me, or a little self-sacrificial.

At any rate I appreciate, understand and respect the distancing that must be put into place. I have to erect personal boundaries myself, nod and smile, and keep up appearances too. I know I don't have the time to cultivate all the friendships I seem to have...how could I responsibly take on any more.

So I will exist where I am, practice patience and hope, and persevere.

*Hugs*

Swift Fox

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True, though I am guessing being a main dude on a con gets you meeting lots of.. interesting people. ;) Good and bad though. It useful to creep out now and then and make a few more friends to invite to private meet ups and hopefully get a few knocks as possible during your run through the public meet firing line. :)

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thraxarious.livejournal.com

*chuckles* Funny thing I notice about communities that announce drama-freeness... they tend to be filled with drama.

Maybe its one of those things, the good ones don't need to advertise...etc..

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whyrl.livejournal.com

I've tried to live by this philosophy but I've found that even worthwhile people sometimes hang around with one or two complete tards. It's almost impossible to avoid unless you set up some sort of "no tards allowed" clique and in that case you get problems with borderline tards. Where do you draw the line?

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Good management is always the key thing I think. ;) Having people who in charge who are both fair minded and respected is critical. I've always wanted to be in charge of some kind of community thing as I think I'd be good at it. I just don't have a subject matter over which to get people to gather. ;P

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tailen.livejournal.com

You draw the line exactly at the point where you can't tolerate any more.

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Not really, no. My experience has been that most of the people on con staff tend to be pretty cool. For one thing, they are motivated enough to volunteer their time to help out an organization. To me, that's pretty hard core.

That reminds me, any chance I'll be seeing you at this year's Anthrocon?

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I draw the line very close to me. It keeps most of the drama out.

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xydexx.livejournal.com

I've been trimming the Big Drama Fans and the folks infected with the Mean And Stupid Virus off my friends list. Life's too short.

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sirfox.livejournal.com

hee.. i've been linked at.

(hopefully because i'm *discussing* the social retards and not being an example of one. ;D )

yeah, i'm with you on that. Sadly, due to a few people moving away, my local circle of friends and aquaintences has gotten smaller over the years. Unfortunately, it seems to be required that in order to meet the few cool people out there, you have to wade through seas of asshattery.

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> (hopefully because i'm *discussing* the social retards and not being an
> example of one. ;D )

Yeah, it was for the discussion part.

I actually went through a few revisions on my original post, trying to come up with a way to word it to make it clear that I was pointing to the discussion. :-)

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ionotter.livejournal.com

I tend to tolerate a lot of bullshit from people, if only in the interests of maybe helping them to mature or move up in the world. This is mainly because 1) everyone needs experience to move on, and 2) I'm still an asshat in many ways, and I GREATLY appreciate it when my friends point out any asshattery I might be up to or involved with.

That being said, there are just some people out there that need to be "debrided".

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sirfox.livejournal.com

maybe we could offer them some advice instead?

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Generally speaking, I tolerate higher amounts of "hanging out with asshats" from people that I am better friends with.

But if it's someone that I do not know very well, and I see that they are hanging out with asshats, then I'm far less likely to want to hang out or do anything with them because I'll assume that they MUST like the asshat in question, which means they are like the asshat in some way.

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xydexx.livejournal.com

I GREATLY appreciate it when my friends point out any asshattery I might be up to or involved with.

Why the hell are you involved with

drama_awesome?

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netcrimes.livejournal.com

You'll love my most recent post about a really stupid person.

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I ment more with the con visitors. ;) Staff I know have to be cool to be able to pull something like that off. X)
And no.. flying for me is something currently other people do. c.c;;

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susandeer.livejournal.com

You know, son, you're right. I've been holding out hope for a lot of people who just seem to make things more complicated and drama-ridden. Perhaps it's time to just let them go.

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ryvex.livejournal.com

Drama Llamas?

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ionotter.livejournal.com

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.

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zorinlynx.livejournal.com

I couldn't help but want to make my point here.

I too, like some folks, tolerate a lot from people. It's not because I think they have a right to behave that way; it's because *I* used to be an asshat a lot of the time. And my friends helped me grow past that. I feel that it's hypocritical for me to reject someone who is genuinely a good person just because they have some social habits that may be resolved if I simply give them some attention, friendship, and guidance.

I don't think you should reject people as potential friends just because they want to be a friend to someone else who has a few issues. We all learn and grow with time, and I think everyone deserves a chance.

Granted, there are some people who never learn, and yes, those people should probably be avoided, but I am confident that everyone has at least some potential and should be given an opportunity. Hopefully you won't avoid me just because I open my arms to people you wouldn't.

-Zorin

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I think what Xydexx may have been getting at is that by having your name associated with that journal, people may think that you approve or condone of what goes on there.

Now if you created an alt LiveJournal account that were used for monitoring such forums...

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> Granted, there are some people who never learn, and yes, those people should
> probably be avoided

And those would be the "asshats" that I was referring to.

If someone has "a few issues", I couldn't care less, especially seeing that *I* have issues. I'm in no position to complain about someone else having a few issues.

But when I see grown adults engaging in asshatish behavior[1] over a number of months/years, with no signs of improvement, then I take notice. And when I see other people hanging around the asshats in question and quitely ignoring some of the things they do or worse yet, rationalizing them, that makes me shy away from those folks.

And, this is key in the furry community: avoiding such people helps reduce my levels of drama and keeps me sane. I know this, because I've been burned in similar circumstances before.

[1] Examples of such behavior includes but is not limited to: Lacking basic social skills, being unable to keep a job, frequently starting drama, dishonesty, manipulative behavior, being overly aggressive/abusive, leeching off of others, etc. etc. I've found a good rule of thumb is that if it wouldn't be tolerated in an office, I probably won't tolerate it either.

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ionotter.livejournal.com

Ahhhh. Yeah, I suppose that could be a valid point. If a person's first impression of me is my being on the membership list of D_A, then yeah, I can see that colouring their impressions. I will admit that if I see someone's name on D_A, I automatically place them in a "guarded" category until I've seen otherwise.

On the other hand, I seem to be rather successful in surrounding myself with people who are quite capable of doing the exact same thing? They look over my profile, read a few posts and generally keep an eye on me to see if I'm a good person.

And if they make a decision as to my personal character on the spot, based solely on my associations, then perhaps they aren't of the caliber of person I'd like to associate with. That being said, I *am* mulling over just what I want course I want to take in the matter.

As I mentioned in my journal, "If you lie with dogs, you get up with fleas."

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Yes, Giza, for me at work, customer service is very much like that.

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Unfortunately, some of those elements occurr in the workplace too, so what do you do then? :) Of course I'm talking more about manipulative behaviour to get what someone wants, dishonesty, and leeching...

-WildWolf

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Document document document!

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Yeah, you're right. Normally I would do that, but when your own pleas for help fall on deaf ears, does it really do any good?

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It does if the company tries to fire you for reasons related to the asshat's behavour.

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