NearlyFreeSpeech.NET Acquired by POST(r) Cereal Company

[giza]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The POST(r) Cereal Company announced today
that it had acquired privately held NFSN, LLC, the parent entity of
Internet web-hosting company NearlyFreeSpeech.NET, for an undisclosed
amount of cash and stock.

Osmond "O. T." Mille, president of the
POST(r) Cereal Company, announced the transaction at a special press
conference earlier today.  "We believe this acquisition, in addition
to fundamentally strengthening our Internet portfolio, offers premium
opportunities for marketing and technological synergy.  For example,
NearlyFreeSpeech.NET is the clear leader in web-based clustering
technology, a perfect match for our product 'Honey Bunches of Oats,'
which is based on a platform of oat-and-grain clustering."  Asked
about the impact of the sale on existing NearlyFreeSpeech.NET members,
Mille replied, "We are committed to making sure they continue to
receive the freshest, healthiest and best-tasting web hosting in the
industry.  We also understand that NearlyFreeSpeech.NET uses only
plain beige and black boxes.  We are experts at box design and believe
that a few changes to their box presentation will spur continued
strong sales growth."

Reporters also caught up to
NearlyFreeSpeech.NET spokesperson Jeff at an exclusive Hawaiian beach
resort, where he was quoted as saying, "Bugger off, you're blocking my
sun."  Pressed for comment, he added, "Yes, there are definitely
obvious benefits.  For example, we have survived for years on Kraft
Macaroni and Cheese while building this company due to its low cost
and concentrated cheesiness.  Because of this deal, we'll now get the
employee discount."

Shares of Kraft (NYSE: KFT), the parent of the
POST(r) Cereal Company, traded sharply higher in the Archipelago
after-hours trading system on the news.

About
NearlyFreeSpeech.NET:
https://www.nearlyfreespeech.net/about/staff.php

About
Kraft:
http://www.kraft.com/

About POST(r)
Cereals:
http://www.kraftfoods.com/PostCereals

Comments

[pyesetz]

Would you believe this is the first April Fool's post I've seen today?

[zenmouse.livejournal.com]

In other news, Network Solutions has decided to register all unused domains and point them at goatse.cx