In Soviet Russia...

[giza]

Stalin is dying, and summons Comrade Khrushchev to his bedside. Wheezing his last few words with difficulty, Stalin tells Khrushchev, "Comrade, the reins of the country are now in your hands. But before I go, I want to give you some advice."

"Yes, yes, Great Leader, what is it?" says Khrushchev. Reaching under his pillow, Stalin produces two envelopes marked 1 and 2. "Take these letters," he tells Khrushchev. "Keep them safely - don't open them. Only if the country is in turmoil and things start going bad, open the first one. That'll give you some advice on what to do. And, even after that, if things start going REALLY bad, open the second one." And with a gasp Stalin breathed his last.

Well, Khrushchev succeeded him, and sure enough, within a few years things started going bad - unemployment increased, crops failed, people became restless. Nikita decided it was time to open the first letter. All it said was: "Blame everything on me!" So Khrushchev launched a massive deStalinization campaign, and blamed Josef for all the excesses and purges and ills of the present system, and bought himself some time that way.

But things continued on the downside - Kennedy successfully rebuffed Soviet missiles in Cuba, unemployment increased even more, crops failed even more, the Politburo was unhappy with Khrushchev's leadership and upstarts like Brezhnev and Gromyko were threatening his credibility. So finally, after much deliberation, Nikita opened the second letter.

All it said was: "Write two letters."

Comments

In Soviet Russia...

[nius.livejournal.com]

... letter writes YOU!

Re: In Soviet Russia...

[quentincoyote.livejournal.com]

Vat a country! :-D

Q.

Re: In Soviet Russia...

[giza.livejournal.com]

Heard about their version of an American Express credit card?

It's call the Russian Express. Their motto? "Don't leave home"

Re: In Soviet Russia...

[tim0n.livejournal.com]

Russian Express never was. The first system working with credit cards in Russia - Alfabank Express.

Russian Express никогда не было. Первой системой, работающей с кредитными картами в России была Альфа Банк Экспресс (ENG: Alfabank Express) (http://www.alfabank.ru/cards/). %)

[freakylynx.livejournal.com]

*grins* I think I've heard that one before. Too bad politicians nowadays don't when to quit, they'd never follow the advice of letter #2.

[quentincoyote.livejournal.com]

Ever play the card game "Red Empire"? ;)

Q.

[daveqat.livejournal.com]

I love that story... It's so completely apocryphal, but so fun...

*chuckles* ^v^

[delphi-of-clf.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness. That was good :p. Thanks for sharing it :>

Priviet

[xoagray.livejournal.com]

*tosses you two Rubels and grins*
So.... is funny laughing at mother Russia DA!?

*snickers*

Xoa Gray
the not so Russian wolf.

Re: Priviet

[xoagray.livejournal.com]

*grins and tailwags*
True that.

Xoa Gray

[tim0n.livejournal.com]

Dear Giza, such history never actually. It is an invention. Stalin was not going to finish the board and did not plan it. As with Hrushev it had bad attitudes. And the authority has passed to Hrushev only after Stalin's death in its situated near Moscow resedence from an insult.

Дорогой Giza, такой истории никогда небыло на самом деле. Это выдумка. Сталин не собирался завершать свое правление и не планировал это. Тем более что с Хрущевым у него были плохие отношения. А власть перешла Хрущёву только после смерти Сталина в его подмосковной резеденции от инсульта.